370.01 Any person with a valid in-state rodent or snake hunting licensemay also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sport(non-commercial) purposes.
370.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or dead-falls is permitted. Theuse of United States currency as bait, however, is prohibited.
370.03 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle isprohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse.However, it is legal to take attorneys with a moving vehicle ifthere are measurable skid marks at the killsite indicating an effort
to avoid the kill. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle,
the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle
should proceed immediately to the nearest car wash.
370.04 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a powerboat, airplane, helicopter or other aircraft.
370.05 It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or "FREESCOTCH" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.
370.06 Except during Wednesday afternoons, it is unlawful to hunt
attorneys within 100 yards of BMW, Mercedes or Porsche dealerships.
370.07 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms orlaw libraries. However, attorneys may be taken at health clubs, country
clubs, hospitals or brothels.
370.08 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to havea license to hunt, trap or possess the same.
370.09 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter,accident victim, physician, chiropractor or tax accountant for thepurpose of hunting attorneys.
370.10 Bag and Possession Limits per day:
Yellow-bellied sidewinders, 2;Two-faced tortfeasors, 1;
Back-stabbing divorce litigators, 3;
Horn-rimmed cut-throats, 2;
Minutiae-advocating dirtbags, 4.
Honest attorneys are protected by the Endangered Species Act.
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