The Burglar

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables; and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird."Moses?" the burglar laughed "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."

Pecans in the cemetery

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,'said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle... As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'He just knew what it was.
He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.
'The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.
' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.
'The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord.
'Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything...
The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done.
'They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

When she walks away

When she walks away from you mad[ Follow her ]
When she stare's at your mouth[ Kiss her ]
When she pushes you or hit's you[ Grab her and don’t let go ]
When she start's cursing at you[ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]
When she's quiet[ Ask her what’s wrong ]
When she ignores you[ Give her your attention ]
When she pull's away[ Pull her back ]
When you see her at her worst[ Tell her she's beautiful ]
When you see her start crying[Just hold her and don’t say a word ]
When you see her walking[ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]
When she's scared[ Protect her ]
When she lay's her head on your shoulder[ Tilt her head up and kiss her ]
When she steal's your favorite hat[ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]
When she tease's you[ Tease her back and make her laugh ]
When she doesn’t answer for a long time[ reassure her that everything is okay ]
When she look's at you with doubt[ Back yourself up ]
When she say's that she like's you[ she really does more than you could understand ]
When she grab's at your hands[ Hold her's and play with her fingers ]
When she bump's into you[ bump into her back and make her laugh ]
When she tells you a secret[ keep it safe and untold ]
When she looks at you in your eyes[ don’t look away until she does ]
When she misses you[ she's hurting inside ]
When you break her heart[ *the pain never really goes away*]
When she says its over[ she still wants you to be hers ]
When she repost this bulletin[ she wants you to read it ]
Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let g0
When she says she's ok don’t believe it, talk with her
because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
Tease her and let her tease you back.
Stay up all night with her when she's sick.
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it’s stupid.
Give her the world.
Let her wear your clothes.
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.
Let her know she's important.
Kiss her in the pouring rain.
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"
If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will:
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.